Ohhh, SoOo ReLaXiNg...

on wednesday i went 2 Alamanda alone...i cant remember wen was the last time i went there..sumtimes i like 2 go shopping alone, it's soothing u know..some of my friends were like pitying me shopping alone..honestly, it's my way of relaxing, enjoying me-alone time & makes me more confident & independent (chewaaah, last reason sounds sooo 'poyo', hahaha! watever)..but i also shop with friends (especially with c'tea) & once in a blue moon with my sis..dis once in a while 'me-alone shopping/chill at starbucks' activity is fun too u know..anyway, back 2 Alamanda..i was juz cruising around window shopping & getting some stuffs, wen all of a sudden i felt like i wanted a manicure & pedicure..i never had 1 b4, only massages..so since i still had some time b4 shooting off 2 Hartamas 2 meet friends, i went straight 2 Haven (salon & spa)..made a last min appointment 4 juz a manicure, then headed off 4 a late lunch at Penang Village Restaurant..my fav place 2 eat, most of the time i order penang fishball soup, it's delicious ok..the fishball is not juz ur ordinary fishball, it has fillings in it, filled with dat dimsum thing, hahaha! dont know wat it's called..but confirm it's yummy-yummy!!! ;)

wen i went back 2 Haven, i told the girl who was gonna do my nails dat i've never had a manicure b4 & she looked a bit shock, mayb coz she didnt quite believe me, but it wasnt an issue, dat girl looks young 2 me plus she's friendly..wat i really wanna say is dat OMG! dis whole manicure thing is sooo relaxing..i felt calm, almost doze off, with the music in the background, the ambiance juz right..seriously, i'm gonna make dis my monthly ritual, hahaha!!! the best part was wen the girl had finished doing my left nails, i looked at it, then all of a sudden i burst out laughing! she was surprised & i told her dat i have never seen my nails sooo shiny & perfectly beautiful ;p ..damn, i juz love the results, plus the whole motion of getting it done..now i know why girls love manicures! well, i do too, it's a wonderful simple therapy.. :)

too bad i had 2 rush off 2 meet my friends, coz i seriously wanted 2 get a pedicure as well..but then again, it was not a problem at all..hahahaha, dat's coz i juz had a pedicure 2day!!! ;p ..didnt plan on it, was there 2 buy some stuffs at Carrefour, the urge juz came, i mean since i'm already in Alamanda, i might as well make the most of my visit ;) ..dis time i was seated in a low comfy sofa, had my legs soaked in warm water..hmm, wen the same girl (i requested her becoz she's gud, friendly & so focus on her job) started doing my nails, again i felt the same way wen i did my manicure, only dis time i closed my eyes, drifting into a fantasy world, hehehe! then she gave me a short foot massage..haaa, it was real nice being pampered..& i'm doing dis as a reward 4 all the hardwork i had done & the drama i've been thru 2 complete my final semester!!! i truly deserve some pampering :)

nextweek, once i've submit my thesis (hard cover version, the mark of THE END of my student life!), i'm sooo gonna get myself a complete spa package..i guess dat'll replace my original plan of solo vacation 2 Bangkok..my sis is so against dis 'wanna travel alone thing'..i really didnt wanna prolong her blabbering of being concerned about my safety in a foreign country (which i'm so touch, tq)..so, i said "okay, i wont do it!"..so there goes 1 of my 'must-do-things' b4 i start working & being married..huhu! well, no worries.. :) ..anyway, i'm hungry, need food now, tatatititutu!!!

LoNeLy :'(

uwaaah!!! feeling the 'blues' right now..

it's one of those moments of going thru "the emotional excess baggage"..

all of sudden i feel sooo LONELY.. :'(

[juz like the song by akon]

i really need a HUG now!!! sum TLC plz... :(

i'M SoOo 'FuLL oF iT' !!!

yeah!!! at dis moment ~ i'm sooo gonna be arrogant, i'm sooo gonna boast, i'm sooo gonna be full of it, i'm sooo an egoist on dis event!!! :p

my preparation, hard work, high spirit & dedication [hmmm, is it ?!?!?!] has made my day, i did perfectly well (in fact great) on my viva (thesis presentation)!!! i managed 2 present all my slides in time & said wat i should, the funny thing was i talked quite fast till i was out of breath & my lungs were so weak from lack of oxygen, hehehe!

but dat's not really the reason my ego is gigantic..the examiner fired me with about 7 questions (while most of my friends only got about 4 questions), & all she asked was my opinion, well i answered it all perfectly! ;p ..i'm not juz assuming dis coz after every answer i gave she said "very gud" while nodding..

wen all was done, she said it again "gud presentation, very gud", she found nothing 2 cross-examine my slides or counter my answers..so there!! why shouldnt i be proud of myself??? to add to my already enormous ego, my supervisor congratulated me "very gud presentation, u did well, luckily u're gud in communication & gave the best answer, even tho u're a bit lazy sumtimes"

hahahaha! can u believe dat?! she managed to slip in a comment about my laziness, but no worries, didnt even felt hurt or offended, well dat's becoz it's quite true ( note; i'm only lazy 25% of the time, not alwez, hahaha), so why deny it or get all upset? it didnt bother me at all, in fact i was sooo happy dat i felt like hugging my supervisor..i was given a compliment (which i truly felt i earned it), so being a polite lady i replied "thank u" with a big grin & glowing face =)

hahahahahaha!!! go ahead be sick & disgusted wit my boasting & humongous ego, i dont even care..well, do u need a bucket 2 throw-up in?!?! if u do then juz get the hell out of my blog, didnt force u 2 read & like it, shoo shoo!!!

anyway, i'm grateful 2 Allah, he blessed me in a way i didnt expect, even wit all the drama i made..honestly, i was scared b4 presenting, panicked like hell, my confidence was on low level, i juz couldnt stop my heart from beating so fast! i was afraid i couldnt remember wat 2 say or dat i couldnt answer the examiner's questions..but wen all was finished & i was praised, it felt really gud, it was 1 hell of an experience & 1 hell of a sweet memorable memory, which i'll remember 4 a very very long time.. ;p ..

plus, i appreciate my supervisor, she has been helpful & supportive, even tho sumtimes she complains dat i'm doing things last minute & havent completed wat was supposed 2 be done in a certain time-line..in fact she was quite worried all the time, asking me "can u get it done? u're way behind schedule..haa, last minute work, so u gotta put in extra effort"..but then she'll boost back my spirit & morale, by saying dat i can do it & complete it on time..man, i gotta hand it 2 her, believing in me!!! instead of scolding me or being angry & totally give up hope on me..

the most touching thing was b4 my presentation, she said ~i'll do well-dont panic & worry-be confident~..i felt so relieved & grateful 2 have sumone there at dat moment giving me moral support..ohhh, & also grateful 2 c'tea, my family (mum, dad, cma, cna) & my close friends..

i feel lucky 2 have people concerned about me & being my 'life-guard' wen i was half drowning while doing my thesis =) ..god, plz bless them all 4 me.. :)

OMG!!! am i giving a formal speech of appreciation/gratitude?!?!?! like winning an award or sumthing??? hahahahaha!!! cheekychika has gone bonkers! but wit a big heart full of love & gratitude <3

well, i might as well end it like a speech..thank u all, muuaaahks!!! xoxo ;p

iT's tHe BiG DaY ~ PReSeNtAtiON ~

haaa, 2morow i'm gonna present my thesis "total quality management in a construction firm", 2pm after lunch..but gotta be there at 9am, plus i was asked 2 be the time-keeper in the next room 4 the 2nd session after refreshments..well, i'm not exactly 100% prepared but i'm quite confident i'll do juz fine or maybe great, hahaha! watever!! it's either sink or swim..even tho i dont really know how 2 swim but wat the heck, there's alwez a CUTE 'life-guard' 2 save me, hehehe! ;)

btw, i already know wat made me so uneasy last week..it's a long story, will update soon..
gotta prepare 2 be the most greatest presenter, yeah! wish me some lucky stars :)

Something Is 'NOT RIGHT' !!!

i've been feeling restless since yesterday afternoon, having dis uneasy feeling in my heart, my instinct is like telling me something unpleasant is gonna happen 2 me or something not good is going on dat will affect me..i dont know!!! dis is driving me crazy, really crazy & confuse..i've been sooo moody, cant concentrate on my work, had no mood 2 talk 2 anyone, felt like lashing out, my mind is disoriented & my heart is juz pumping harder..the worst part is trying 2 sort it out with no idea wat's the source..i tried 2 ignore it by doing some house chores, laundry, thesis & watever dat will distract me from trying 2 figure out dis so-called uneasy gut feeling..i honestly cant pinpoint wat or who is giving me this uneasiness..i thot it was juz a passing dilemma or dat my instinct is juz haywire, but it's still going on right now!!!

until i know or watever happens then it'll juz stop, coz i've already gone thru dis cycle of instinct/moment b4..i hate dis..been thru it a few times & the events were all unpleasant unhappy, wit me ending up crying angry frustrated sad & all those bad emotions, almost all of the events had been about my personal life..there MUST be a reason 4 me 2 have dis sign at dis moment..all i've been doing is pray 2 god 2 juz let me have it right now coz i really wanna get it over wit..i need 2 relax & focus on my preparation 4 thesis presentation, 2 get my powerpoint completed & 2 do some reading on the topic..arghhh!!! but then again dat wouldnt be a good idea coz surely i'll dwell on the matter & the effect is gonna stay 4 quite a long time...ohhh, why cant i juz feel dis after i've completed my thesis?!?!

~ plz god, let me settle important matters 1st witout dis obstacle/challenge..wen i'm done, then let it be, i'll juz accept watever it is... ~ :(

oNe oF 'My MaNy FaV sOnGs'...

once upon a time, a gud friend, who was once quite close 2 me, gave me dis song..it was his way of showing his support (i think/assume) wen i was really down, confused, gave up on things & disoriented, it meant a lot, it was like seeing life in another point of view, another angle, actually it made me c dat rainy/cloudy days are not forever, there's alwez a day of happy sunshine in our lives..the lyric is meaningful, plus the melody is catchy..since i 1st heard this song (a few years ago), it has alwez been 1 of my favourites..it's been a very long time since i talked 2 dis particular friend of mine, it's not easy 2 keep the friendship alive wen dat person has another new important commitment (his wife)..i kinda miss him as a gudfriend, i've known him since 1999, almost 10years of being friends..as the saying goes "it takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone"...[p/s: dis only applies 2 certain people in my life]...

but it's okay..i've already got someone else as my gudfriend/extra shoulder, whom i can depend on during the down-times & also happy/fun times, he has been there 4 me wen i really needed someone & juz 2 hang-out or be with [sumtimes tho, hehe, cant alwez be with sumone 24/7, everyone has other priorities too, even family members & bestfriend; ms.ctea]... :)

anyway, here's the song "Nyata & Maya"...
(by -Amy Search-)

ku lihat indah hari depanmu
mentari sentiasa menerangi
bumi indah di tapak kakimu
kan terbentang menjadi oh milikmu
cekallah sayang
dalam menempuhi dunia ini
saban hari
adakalanya mendung jua kunjung
bersabarlah
ku kan selalu denganmu, kasih
dalam jasadku yang nyata atau maya
kerana ku terlalu mengendah
suka dukamu setiap ketika
ku kan selalu denganmu, kasih
dalam kau bertatih atau kau berlari
andai kau jatuh
ku bantu kau bangun semula
ku tahu kau pastikan bersinar
bagai sebutir bintang
gemerlapan
keyakinanku bukannya kosong
lahir dari hati yang kenalimu

well, i'm lazy 2 upload the song in an mp3 player on dis blog, actually couldnt find it, hahaha! ;p
so go do it urself, enjoy the song...CHeeRs :)

tHe BeAcH, tHe iSLaNd, tHe SoUL-sEaRcHiNg, tHe FaNTaSy :)

how long will it be till my next holiday @ any island? & with whom will i share the relaxing moment lying on the soft sand, watching the waves & enjoy the warm breeze??? the beach is where i find my inner-peace, soul-searching & clear my jumble-up mind/emotions (if i went alone!), a place i consider 2 be heaven on earth! ;) ..how i wish i had my own private beach or more better an island right here in my home, hehe wishful thinking..but then again having a companion is nice, at least i've got sumone 2 talk 2 & share the feeling of happiness & excitement..why is it dat wen u crave 4 sumthing, there's alwez a catch??? i seem 2 go thru a rough road of life, quite bumpy, havent really been thru a very long smooth road, yet! juz short ones! hmm, so many hidden reasons wen things juz dont seem 2 go ur way..sumtimes i dont get the reasons, sumtimes i do; wen the event has been an ancient history 4 me..

wat's the best solution 4 tough times, besides chilling on the beach? well, it's "suck-it-up & smile"!!! hahaha, bear the pain & confusion of life..but it's not alwez unpleasant tho, of corz i've been thru some wonderful events, had my share of happiness :) ..i guess i'm not dat unlucky all the time, hehe! i noticed dat i'm more dramatic of bad events, creating a drama out of it..the gud events are less dramatic..i wonder why?!?!

maybe i should change the tuning, make a change try different channel..be more dramatic of pleasant things then dwell on negative things..dat should make me more happy.. ;p ..people say dat u gotta follow the flow 2 happiness if u cant create one, but is the flow alwez smooth with no big rocks & floating tree trunks along the way? i say no..if there's one, plz tell me which river u're in..i wanna jump into it, hahaha! ;p

i'm alwez full of questions & doubts about everything, well almost everything tho..i prefer 2 know wat makes things tick; the whole how, why, wat & bla bla bla..i consider it widening my knowledge, huhu! the world of human-beings is a mystery, full of surprises..either u can predict or assume u know the ending, then u must be a psychic! waaah, wat inner power does dat human-being have??? sooo unlikely dat u can predict the future..no one is god, u can only plan but god will be the executor, depends if u've put enuff passion, hardwork, commitment, bla bla bla ;) , i think!!! i mean 2 know ur fate, is 2 go thru dat tunnel of obstacles..actually, i'm blabbering dis coz i'm wondering wat my future is gonna be..i've alwez been curious of wat god has created 4 me, wat challenges i've gotta go thru, the reasons 4 things 2 happen..well, life is a puzzle 4 me, an unfinished picture of ME! :)

ahhh, the sea is soo beautiful..so calm & relaxing, the waves singing 2 me..feeling the freedom, watching the birds fly away 2 the open horizon, the warm breeze, the sunshine of happiness, the cool shadow beneath the coconut tree, the cold coconut drink (wit a cute little umbrella) in my hand, hehe!..fantasizing the happiness & pleasure i wanna have..beautiful thots, having a smile on my face, dreamy eyes..imagining myself in a perfect world..wit dat sumone special beside me...[craving 4 dat sumone who loves me, my soulmate!] ;)

~ ohh romeo, romeo, wherefore art thou romeo? ~

~ don't find love, let love find you, that's why it's called falling in love, because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall ~

~~ Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs, being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes, being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet, a choking gall and a preserving sweet ~~

(William Shakespeare; in Romeo & Juliet)

F*CKiNG~SH*T!!!

damn!!! last exam paper 'numerical method' was F*CKiNG hard! i'm soo frustrated, cant believe the questions were not wat i & my classmates had expected..it was out of our expectation! i'm soo gonna cry! after exam everyone was complaining about the nonsense of the questions & worrying about failing! hahaha!!! plz tell me sumthing i dont know, i've already taken dis subject a few semesters ago, failed!! so now it's my 2nd round, same lecturer who i hate coz i cant understand why her exam questions are so confusing, beating around the bushes!!! dis is my last semester, i cant afford 2 fail any subject, not willing 2 extend another sem 4 juz one lousy subject! well, i'll have 2 wait till the results are out..cant do anything 2 change wat had been done..

anyway, my dad juz called..i told him wat i'm going thru, the anger & frustration, worried, dont wana go thru another sem & bla bla bla..the funny thing is he said "why worry? it's ok, dont dwell on it, u did ur best & u worked hard, so let it be, juz wait 4 the results..if u fail, it's not a problem, there's alwez alternatives in life 4 u..u have a gud life, there's other things 4 u, so no worries..if u do fail, well if u want 2 repeat, then do it on ur own time & term, if not it's ok, u got a diploma, watever ur decision is i'll support u, so go have lunch & rest, dont worry be happy"...hahaha, can u believe dat??? well, it's true he said dat, has alwez told me dat it's ok dat u have failures or dont achieve ur highest expectations or goals, but wat's important is dat u tried, worked hard & did ur best..sumtimes things arent meant 4 u 2 gain..going thru the motion gives experience & a few lessons about life..hmmm, sounds quite logic 2 me & i think there's a truth in there..

well, i'm grateful 4 his support, huhu! ;) but i'm not gonna juz quit! i'm gonna go thru it again IF i do fail tho, there's no way i'm not getting my degree! i've worked soo hard & been thru sum drama 2 get dis far, not gonna let it all go 2 waste becoz of 1 damn subject!!! honestly, i dont f*cking care if my so-called 'friends' or people i know tease or judge me IF i have 2 extend another sem! (pray 2 god i'll pass)..it's not their life & not their business, so they might as well go f*ck off if they cant be supportive & understanding, not worth being my so-called 'friends'..i dont need people like dat in my life!!! i've got nothing 2 lose if i ditch them! trust me, i'll be more happier witout these people!!!

~nobody's perfect & not everyone will get everything they want/desire, including me!!!~

hmmm...haaa...*sigh*...
juz another day being a bitchy drama queen!!!
~deal wit it~ :p

oNe DoWn..2 MoRe 2 Go..tHe EnD :)

fuhhh!!! i finally managed 2 complete my thesis draft, submitted on monday 11am , not bad 4 a draft tho, it's completed but i think i can polish & fix it 2 be more better than dis..still got sum time 2 do dat (hopefully no sudden last minute notice 2 submit earlier than the stated date)..the last day 2 submit the final completed thesis (hardcover version) is end of this month, after viva, which is on 25march..i'm in suspense wondering wat the examiners are gonna remark on my thesis, i'm quite sure they'll want me 2 fix a few things, i admit my thesis is not dat perfect (my own judgement)..well, 1 challenge is done & out of the way (only at dis moment! note; dis work ain't done yet, has a sequel, hehehe)..so, i've got another 2 more challenges coming soon..my FINAL EXAM!!!

my 1st paper 'entrepreneur for engineers' is dis wednesday 845am!!! & my other subject is 'numerical method' which is also at 845am, dis friday!!! why morning??? i wish it was in the afternoon so i'll be more calm, focus & alert, hehe :p ..hmmm, yup yup, dat's the only exams i got! hahaha! maybe i can have a mini pre-celebration?!? surely i got lots of time 2 prepare 4 my viva..ohhh well, at least i got an activity dis saturday with a new clique, made new friends last month wen i joined dis 'secret' activity in cheras, hahaha! & plz note dat it's legal plus fun & entertaining, huhu! i'm gonna need extra energy tho ;p ..

whooops!!! my rest time is over..study-notes are hollering at me 2 give them sum TLC ~tender loving care~ now! :p hahaha!!! well, wish me gudluck 4 my exams! ;)

"STRESS+TENSION+PANIC" FRENZY!!!

ohhh no!!! wen i had planned out my thesis time-line, everything seemed quite all right, i was confident dat i could complete my thesis on time, which me & my classmates thot dat the due date was after our exams, BUT all of sudden it's not gonna be useful..not at dis last minute notice..i cant believe the head of thesis department juz gave us notice dat our complete thesis draft must be submitted dis friday!!! everyone is in a panic frenzy now, all minds R jammed at the moment, the pressure is so intense dat u cant think about anything else, including me, of corz!!! no one (i mean my group of classmates/friends, dont know about the others - who i dont know or bother 2 B friends wit, which is not a serious matter anyway), knew about it until 2day (tuesday, 4th march, 2 B exact), dis is so sudden, i'm lucky i didnt die of a heart attack! :(

now, the plan is 2 do it all-out, juz get sufficient sleep, pump-up the supplement intake, focus & concentrate, B EXTRA CONFIDENT dat i'll manage 2 complete it on time, & pray 2 Allah i'll get my inspiration 2 write the perfect report (at dis very last minute)!!! ohhh my muse, u're my only hope! well, dat's a bit dramatic, but who cares?!?!? i'm desperate 4 extra time, energy & writer's talent..may i have the power 2 get thru dis challenge! may the force be wit me (alwez & 4ever), hahahaha!!! ;p

~btw, my classmates R planning 2 negotiate the extension of due date 2 nextweek monday, hopefully the head of thesis department has a soft heart!!! ohhh please have sum sympathy, we're juz human beings :( ~