Parents & Tomorrow

today was spent at home, doing the laundry and a little of cleaning..mummy and daddy just arrived from kk arond 830pm..they're staying here for 3weeks..hahaha, 3 weeks of limited leisure time with friends, but a good time to go out for work appointments..i'm not sure what my parents' plans are..well, this sure is a merry time for my family, all 5 of us together under the same roof :) ..the last time was about 2 or 3 years ago [honestly i don't really know the exact year]..

well, tomorrow i gotta go to the office for a meeting..gonna see mrs. AT, hehe..it sure is gonna be a "happy" day..and since it'll finish at 6pm, maybe i'll chill out somewhere first, there's no way i'm gonna go through that massive peak hour traffic jam!! hmmm, i wonder what's the outcome of tomorrow's plan..

Can't Think or Express = Brain Dead

my past week has been a daze..not really sure what went on..but i do remember going back to ctea's house in senawang with my sisters to celebrate hari raya aidiladha..hmm, the funny thing was after the traditional eating session, we changed clothes from baju kurung to daily clothes..& we totally forgot to take pictures in our baju kurung :( ..so no visual memories for us, what to do..the day ended when we had to endure a very long jam back to kajang..sooo not fun, i was wondering why the jam cleared right after the nilai toll, there wasn't even an accident..well, whatever..the usual holiday massive traffic jam..

basically, things aren't going so smooth..i'm always thinking about the future, what i hate is the fact that i'm totally lost, confuse & brain dead..i can't even find words to describe how i feel or what i think..am i drowning??? i know i want it but i don't know how to get it..what's stopping me???

all i can say is that my happy leisure life is quite blurry at the moment, can't find the inspiration to blog about it..which sucks!! arrghhh, sooo not great at all..but behind my worries about work, i still have a happy thing going on ;) ..at least that's keeping me sane, hahaha, sooo cheesy..yeah well, quite a balance..

*maybe i need to blow off those stress & tension by doing 'flying fox' again*

*wooohooo!!!*
~~CHEERS!!!~~

My Weekend..

weekend was spent at home, didn't go anywhere..i was really tired & a bit bored of going out..it was a nice time to relax & enjoy most of the things i love to do at home..i managed to do another drama marathon - gossip girl, csi [all 3 series], heroes & desperate housewives ;) ..so u can imagine how my time was spent ;p ..plus me & cna shisha a few times [when cma wasn't home yet from work plus she wasn't into it, huhu too bad for her]..

another great thing was bonding with cma & cna..all 3 of us stuck together, hahaha..the house felt more merrier than i could remember..as some know that i technically live alone..it was fantastic, but i know it won't last long, till cna goes back..ohhh well, that's not important now..just live the present as it is ;) ..btw, tonight i helped dye cna's hair & gave cma some highlights..hmm, i might as well open a salon at home, haha ;p

selamat hari raya aidiladha :) ..happy holiday & cheers ;p

Jalan-Jalan & Waiting..

i'm waiting for a few people to find a free slot to meet me..i'm waiting for my sisters to arrange an appointment for me..they know a few people that would be good prospect for me..the people i know aren't that keen..but like i said, it's okay it's alright..

it's quite hard to be patient but that's 1 of the traits i need to have..yes, i know u can't be pushy..u have to follow other people's flow..u have to try to fit in their schedule..well, lucky me for having quite a flexible schedule, hahaha ;p

my free time is filled with leisure..not 100% tho coz my mind is always thinking about my work my job my career..i may be there physically but my thoughts aren't there..which makes me panic at times, scared too..thinking too much has made me grow a white hair, hahaha!!! yup, i'm growing old ;p

yesterday wasn't a great day..i wasn't feeling well, i have no idea what's wrong with me..so it was a day off for me..instead i went to do an errand..as usual, something i was supposed to do months ago!! my bad!! anyway, i finally sent those things to where they should be..my my, i feel relieve!! honestly, it kinda made me happy ;)

then me & cna went to cyberjaya..she & ctea had a swimming date, while i & echah just sat by the pool chitchatting, taking pictures & lazing..a nice time for me to think what i need to do today..mentally planning & deciding..after that, we had dinner at taman equine..later cma met us there..i felt relaxed again, laughing & joking with the girls..a great stress reliever ;) ..simple but meaningful..

well, i'm still wide awake now, it's 2am..blogging & wondering..damn!!! why can't i just go through every day without thinking too much???

I'm Starting It Slow Like Baby Steps..

my days are 'so & so'..tough ride..i guess the start of something new is never easy..that i understand..anyway, i'm in the middle of brainstorming some 'loop holes' to get some clients..this is when i have to ask my sisters & close friends for some help..no matter how desperate i am, i'm acting cool on the outside but actually i'm shivering shaking..

it's okay, it's alright..i'm sure i'll manage, i just need to be more aggressive & shameless, hahaha..gotta go out & just do it like i'm good at it..even though sometime i think i have no extra knowledge..well, the only option is to learn, no harm in expanding my knowledge in the financial field, hehehe..

yes, not a civil engineer..i've broken my dad's heart, smashed his dreams of wanting me to be an engineer..i can't explain how & why, but that was the way it turned out..i'm sure there's a reason for this fate..i accept & will try to 'upgrade' myself ;)

this past few days have been tough..at times i'm not that sure i can do it at all..actually, what i really need is just 1 person to give me that 'golden chance' to kick start..when that happens, i'll be really happy & very much motivated..it's not that i'm not motivated or what, i just need to see results..a proof that i'm getting somewhere..

anyway, i'm still struggling, trying hard to succeed in this job..i'm not saying i'll straightaway be perfect, but hopefully i'll gain what i want through this 'journey'..it's not that easy as i had expected, trying hard to make people see things from a different point of view..hopefully my rezeki will come rolling in soon.. :)

so far, i've got a lead, i can see a very small teeny tiny light of hope..but i need to make it come true..yup, baby steps cheekychika, baby steps ;p