Untitled...

now i've known the exact feeling of "disgust, despise & hatred" all mixed together..not just the "usual" feeling of it but something so powerful, undeniable & full extent of it..it's unexplainable..it was a fucking feeling & still is..i know it'll never cease as time goes by, in fact it'll just harbour in me for the rest of eternity..it has been a very very long time since i felt so angry that everyday i wish for a terrible mishap & long suffering to fall upon that one particular human being..why God let that creature live life with no conscious or regrets of its action?

i've always believed that God will help me pay the creature all of the misfortunes i've encountered, in any way that will somehow make the creature remember that it's a payment from God on my behalf..or that payment will be given on doomsday..i've always hoped that one fine sweet day i'll receive wonderful fortunes of all aspects in my life, as a reimbursement for previous "bad/terrible events" [like the saying "a blessing in disguise"]..another mere thought of hope that "what goes around comes around"..sometime i do believe in karma & those quotes/sayings that were created to help ease our unhappiness & negative feelings/emotions...

but honestly, everyday i pray that the one particular creature i despise & hate, will burn & rot in hell with all the devils!!! i have no forgiveness in me anymore!!!