sumtimes i don't understand why certain situation happens 2 me..especially if it makes me sad, angry or any of the negative traits..like the world is against me, giving me a tough time..i know life can never be perfect & no one is perfect, but i would like 2 wish 4 a never-ending happiness..my wishful thinking..it's alwez juz a moment of laughter, joy & smiles..it doesn't last as long as i want it to..in the end all i have is the memories..& wen i go down memory lane, sum of it brings a smile &, sum juz sadness & sorrows..all so confusing..i think my life is confusing, or i'm juz confuse..either way, no one will understand..watever i go thru is not the same as other ppl, i know every1 has their own confusing down time..
wen it comes 2 personal feelings, i'm juz not a champion, there's so many challenges i can't seem 2 overcome..i end up thinking too much..it's hard 4 me 2 trust ppl, & sumtime i don't trust myself, especially wen it concerns relationship..all emotions jumbled-up in me..the ending of a failed relationship juz breaks me..the hurt is so painful, it's hard 2 4get..leaving a deep scar..invisible on the outside but crystal clear in me..
lately i try so hard 2 move on, leaving behind an unpromising happiness..i try not 2 think about it at all, but it comes 2 me..i hate feeling sad, sad 4 myself, hoping 2 get thngs back 2 the way it was & blaming myself dat mayb thngs could hv been different if i had tried harder 2 fix thngs..i guess it was never meant 2 b if i'm the only 1 trying so hard 2 make it work, it's suppose 2 b a 2-way road..i'm trying 2 permenantly stick 'his lost, not mine, i've got nothng 2 lose' quote in my mind..i can deal with it mentally but not emotionally, it's sumthng i can never control, dat's the hardest part of moving on..
(i remember a close friend said 2 me "i know u as a tough girl, independent & strong minded, but wen it comes 2 relationship/guy/love, u're fragile, u juz break & fall apart"..mayb there's a truth in there)...
wen it comes 2 personal feelings, i'm juz not a champion, there's so many challenges i can't seem 2 overcome..i end up thinking too much..it's hard 4 me 2 trust ppl, & sumtime i don't trust myself, especially wen it concerns relationship..all emotions jumbled-up in me..the ending of a failed relationship juz breaks me..the hurt is so painful, it's hard 2 4get..leaving a deep scar..invisible on the outside but crystal clear in me..
lately i try so hard 2 move on, leaving behind an unpromising happiness..i try not 2 think about it at all, but it comes 2 me..i hate feeling sad, sad 4 myself, hoping 2 get thngs back 2 the way it was & blaming myself dat mayb thngs could hv been different if i had tried harder 2 fix thngs..i guess it was never meant 2 b if i'm the only 1 trying so hard 2 make it work, it's suppose 2 b a 2-way road..i'm trying 2 permenantly stick 'his lost, not mine, i've got nothng 2 lose' quote in my mind..i can deal with it mentally but not emotionally, it's sumthng i can never control, dat's the hardest part of moving on..
(i remember a close friend said 2 me "i know u as a tough girl, independent & strong minded, but wen it comes 2 relationship/guy/love, u're fragile, u juz break & fall apart"..mayb there's a truth in there)...
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