more than 2 months since i last updated..a lot has happened, some are good some are bad..well, it's a balanced life..i'll just write a short one..

january - went to jakarta, bandung and singapore with my whole family..a long vacation, 6days..it was great, even tho there were some unexpected [or expected] events..anyway, i didn't shop much..i was disappointed myself, i had planned to finish my rupiahs but then i came home being a rich lady [rupiahs do make u feel rich, hahaha]..singapore was fun coz we celebrated chinese new year there..

february - hmmm, nothing much tho..it was just the usual month..the only thing that i can remember is receiving a bouquet of red roses for valentines, huhuhu..my very first for this occasion..yes, pity me hahaha..

my days are okay, still doing some thinking and planning..i'm trying to get things together..hopefully this is a good year for me..2008 has been a "dramatic" roller coaster for me, lots of unexpected events..but honestly i feel pretty good, minus a few issues tho :o)

Parents & Tomorrow

today was spent at home, doing the laundry and a little of cleaning..mummy and daddy just arrived from kk arond 830pm..they're staying here for 3weeks..hahaha, 3 weeks of limited leisure time with friends, but a good time to go out for work appointments..i'm not sure what my parents' plans are..well, this sure is a merry time for my family, all 5 of us together under the same roof :) ..the last time was about 2 or 3 years ago [honestly i don't really know the exact year]..

well, tomorrow i gotta go to the office for a meeting..gonna see mrs. AT, hehe..it sure is gonna be a "happy" day..and since it'll finish at 6pm, maybe i'll chill out somewhere first, there's no way i'm gonna go through that massive peak hour traffic jam!! hmmm, i wonder what's the outcome of tomorrow's plan..

Can't Think or Express = Brain Dead

my past week has been a daze..not really sure what went on..but i do remember going back to ctea's house in senawang with my sisters to celebrate hari raya aidiladha..hmm, the funny thing was after the traditional eating session, we changed clothes from baju kurung to daily clothes..& we totally forgot to take pictures in our baju kurung :( ..so no visual memories for us, what to do..the day ended when we had to endure a very long jam back to kajang..sooo not fun, i was wondering why the jam cleared right after the nilai toll, there wasn't even an accident..well, whatever..the usual holiday massive traffic jam..

basically, things aren't going so smooth..i'm always thinking about the future, what i hate is the fact that i'm totally lost, confuse & brain dead..i can't even find words to describe how i feel or what i think..am i drowning??? i know i want it but i don't know how to get it..what's stopping me???

all i can say is that my happy leisure life is quite blurry at the moment, can't find the inspiration to blog about it..which sucks!! arrghhh, sooo not great at all..but behind my worries about work, i still have a happy thing going on ;) ..at least that's keeping me sane, hahaha, sooo cheesy..yeah well, quite a balance..

*maybe i need to blow off those stress & tension by doing 'flying fox' again*

*wooohooo!!!*
~~CHEERS!!!~~

My Weekend..

weekend was spent at home, didn't go anywhere..i was really tired & a bit bored of going out..it was a nice time to relax & enjoy most of the things i love to do at home..i managed to do another drama marathon - gossip girl, csi [all 3 series], heroes & desperate housewives ;) ..so u can imagine how my time was spent ;p ..plus me & cna shisha a few times [when cma wasn't home yet from work plus she wasn't into it, huhu too bad for her]..

another great thing was bonding with cma & cna..all 3 of us stuck together, hahaha..the house felt more merrier than i could remember..as some know that i technically live alone..it was fantastic, but i know it won't last long, till cna goes back..ohhh well, that's not important now..just live the present as it is ;) ..btw, tonight i helped dye cna's hair & gave cma some highlights..hmm, i might as well open a salon at home, haha ;p

selamat hari raya aidiladha :) ..happy holiday & cheers ;p

Jalan-Jalan & Waiting..

i'm waiting for a few people to find a free slot to meet me..i'm waiting for my sisters to arrange an appointment for me..they know a few people that would be good prospect for me..the people i know aren't that keen..but like i said, it's okay it's alright..

it's quite hard to be patient but that's 1 of the traits i need to have..yes, i know u can't be pushy..u have to follow other people's flow..u have to try to fit in their schedule..well, lucky me for having quite a flexible schedule, hahaha ;p

my free time is filled with leisure..not 100% tho coz my mind is always thinking about my work my job my career..i may be there physically but my thoughts aren't there..which makes me panic at times, scared too..thinking too much has made me grow a white hair, hahaha!!! yup, i'm growing old ;p

yesterday wasn't a great day..i wasn't feeling well, i have no idea what's wrong with me..so it was a day off for me..instead i went to do an errand..as usual, something i was supposed to do months ago!! my bad!! anyway, i finally sent those things to where they should be..my my, i feel relieve!! honestly, it kinda made me happy ;)

then me & cna went to cyberjaya..she & ctea had a swimming date, while i & echah just sat by the pool chitchatting, taking pictures & lazing..a nice time for me to think what i need to do today..mentally planning & deciding..after that, we had dinner at taman equine..later cma met us there..i felt relaxed again, laughing & joking with the girls..a great stress reliever ;) ..simple but meaningful..

well, i'm still wide awake now, it's 2am..blogging & wondering..damn!!! why can't i just go through every day without thinking too much???

I'm Starting It Slow Like Baby Steps..

my days are 'so & so'..tough ride..i guess the start of something new is never easy..that i understand..anyway, i'm in the middle of brainstorming some 'loop holes' to get some clients..this is when i have to ask my sisters & close friends for some help..no matter how desperate i am, i'm acting cool on the outside but actually i'm shivering shaking..

it's okay, it's alright..i'm sure i'll manage, i just need to be more aggressive & shameless, hahaha..gotta go out & just do it like i'm good at it..even though sometime i think i have no extra knowledge..well, the only option is to learn, no harm in expanding my knowledge in the financial field, hehehe..

yes, not a civil engineer..i've broken my dad's heart, smashed his dreams of wanting me to be an engineer..i can't explain how & why, but that was the way it turned out..i'm sure there's a reason for this fate..i accept & will try to 'upgrade' myself ;)

this past few days have been tough..at times i'm not that sure i can do it at all..actually, what i really need is just 1 person to give me that 'golden chance' to kick start..when that happens, i'll be really happy & very much motivated..it's not that i'm not motivated or what, i just need to see results..a proof that i'm getting somewhere..

anyway, i'm still struggling, trying hard to succeed in this job..i'm not saying i'll straightaway be perfect, but hopefully i'll gain what i want through this 'journey'..it's not that easy as i had expected, trying hard to make people see things from a different point of view..hopefully my rezeki will come rolling in soon.. :)

so far, i've got a lead, i can see a very small teeny tiny light of hope..but i need to make it come true..yup, baby steps cheekychika, baby steps ;p

Just My Boss, Don't Want More..

my boss, Mrs. AT is really getting on my nerves..sometime she's so irritating k..i know she's lonely, doesn't have anyone really close to her, not many friends i think..actually i pity her..she's a single mother with a daughter [she lives alone, daughter is staying with grandmother]..so every time we meet up for work, she would always persuade me to hangout/eat with her after work or off days..hangout is either karaoke or go clubbing!!! geesh!!! no way i'm gonna "chill out" with her!!

i really have no desire to be her friend outside of work..honestly, i only eat with her coz i feel bad [she tries so hard to make me stay, plus she's sooo clever, making me leave my car at her house than ride with her to the office or wherever we have to go, i'm dumb stuck to her]..

i know some people can be friends with their boss, but this one i can't...all the time talking about her accomplishment/achievements..bragging about her great big salary she used to get, but now it's sooo less than she usually gets coz she has to spend more time on me & others..duhhh, like it's our fault she has to spoon feed/babysit us all the time..so, as a punishment she wants the "big fish", as she has always reminded me..argghhh, too much laa bragging everyday, can't stand it!!

another thing is that she is always calling me at night!! & also during the day!! the worst part is that it's more than once!!! tension k, acting very like the bf-gf clingy thingy..even my dearest parents knows not to be too clingy to me..come on laaa, more than 3 calls per day is really annoying k!!! it's not even about work or important issues..calling just to chat or ask what i'm doing & blablabla..once she sent me an sms asking why i didn't answer her call, crazy k!! it turns out she just wanted to know if i went to my friend's great aunty's funeral, calling 4 times!!

hmmm, what else eh? haaa, few days ago when me & my sisters where having dinner at hartamas square, she called..before that i was with her [working - meeting clients]..so when i told her where i was, she said "waah, an exclusive place, rich people always eat there, u didn't even invite me to join" [something like that laa]..i was shocked & a bit pissed off..it's just a foodcourt maaa, not an exclusive expensive restaurant k!! plus i was already sick of her presence for that day, crazy!!! she's always saying things like that, like "u're not working have no income but can drive & hangout"..what's her point?!?!

i do as i please laa, it's not like she's paying for my car/petrol/entertainment/shopping..duhhh!! why so busybody wanna know about my financial??? i'm not rich but i'm grateful that i have all the necessary things i need..sooo can i just sew her mouth shut?!?!

What To Do???

today wasn't much of a great day..i actually felt my day was wasted, thanx to my boss Mrs. AT..i mean she said she wanted to teach me the business & introduce me to some of her current clients, as in to give me a few new clients in certain companies..i'm already working for 2weeks u know..but the thing is, following her around & just sitting there is totally not productive..well, that's not entirely true, i gain a few tips & advices..hahaha :p

i feel that i need to start working on my own than stick with Mrs. AT all day long..i know i'm not 100% perfect but i have to try so i can improve myself & fix whatever i lack..how am i suppose to call & see my clients when she's always hovering & talking nonstop..most of the time i think she's doing it on purpose..keeping me tied to her..

feels like she's using me..& yes, i say this with truth coz without me, she can't venture new clients..plus what makes me sooo mad is that she had the nerves to say that she wants all the big shot clients while i can have the small fishes & that she can't go into new places coz people already know her & she's old..arrgggh!!! bloody shit k!!! what the hell??? like trying to make sure i don't overdo her & earn more than her!!!

yeah well, that's the way it is when ur salary is 100% based on commission..still...she's not being fair..always telling me to be patient & that the 1st month don't expect to earn a lot & most probably only get rm1k or rm2k..of course laaa that'll happen if she keeps dragging me around..she closes a deal while i close nothing!!! [sengaja je nak i meleleh air liur..bengang k, macam orang bangang pun ada!!]

seriously, i see no point if i continue following her ass around while i can go on my own & at least get something out of my effort..i've done nothing productive that'll bring in clients coz i'm juz the "cow"..hahaha macam sial je ayat ni!!!

well, monday i got a late afternoon meeting..Mrs. AT wants me to know one of her clients, who she says may be able to help me get some referral..i wonder how it'll turn out..i've already spent more than i should have, i mean petrol-toll-food, all for nothing..it's just like hanging out with friends minus the happiness & fun & feeling of worthwhile..at this moment, my working life is just like leisure..which shouldn't be the same..work must equal to income/salary/money!!!

Back On Track...

sooo, everything is back to normal..i've already started my new job, my home & social life is back on track, hehehe ;) ..plus i'm promising myself to give a bit more love & attention to my darling blog..now i realise there's a lot of things i wanna blog about but there's always an excuse not to do it, like "ayooo, no time later laa" or "ishhh, lazy to type & put in a few pics [friend's wedding at johor]"..ish ish ish!! need a boost laa kan!

well, today is my off day..started late, hahaha woke up at 1230pm!!! waaah, how i miss my beauty sleep ;p ..seriously, it was a pleasure i would love to indulge as often as i can, but now that'll be hard..i'm now in the "working life" zone..even tho i don't work 9-5, i still have to get up early in the morning..

hmm, i had my coffee while planning my schedule & discussing with cna what we need to do today..1st off, went to bangi to settle bank issues..now i got my new maybank visa card, yeahyeah! actually a pending errand, was suppose to get it like a few months ago..& also paid my life insurance which was way overdue [6months k, gila nak termunath nak bayar!!] yeah well, knowing me, procrastinating is my "problem", hehehe :) ..will try my very best to solve that "problem" a.s.a.p!!! [confirm it'll be my #1 resolution for 2009!!!]

after that, we still had time to make a pitstop at my old college to collect my degree certificate [note - another pending errand completed!!]..then i was careless by leaving my IC on the table at the administration office..luckily the guy called me when i was just driving away from the college, must always remember to double check my belongings before i leave anywhere..

well, since me & cna hadn't had lunch yet, we were sooo hungry [it was already 5pm] but couldn't decide where to eat, sooo at last we headed to klcc..it was raining so heavily when we emerged from the smart tunnel..which we were surprised coz before going in, it wasn't raining, just cloudy & dark..seriously, when u're in the tunnel, u have no idea what's the weather outside [of course laa kan, it's not like there's windows on the wall, hahaha!]

i haven't been to klcc for a very very long time..[eh no laa, last time was a few weeks back with daddy, cma & cna..but we just went to the convention center & took a long evening stroll at the park, didn't even go in klcc]..anyway, we ate at the food court, we shared a meal set coz wanted to eat again with cma..hmm, can't remember the name of the stall, alaaa the japanese one ;p ..with tehtarik & nescafe tarik [yumyum, hahaha lama siut tak minum tarik2 drinks]..

then we went around got a few things..the temptation to shop till i drop was overwhelming!!! but luckily i had a strong will & "slim pocket" of money, hahaha, sooo not much shopping done, just the essential things..i just got a pants, compact powder refill, earrings [cna bought it for me, hehe tq tq] & pimple cream [waah, quite a detailed list of things, hihi]..i have no idea why i'm listing it down..maybe to keep track of my spending, must try to be thrifty maa :p

last stop before we went home was dome cafe, waited for cma there, she had a big sandwich for dinner while me & cna just had the tiramisu cake..i had the dome "espreski honeycomb goldrush" drink..it wasn't that fantastic as i had expected, it was very milky & not much of coffee taste..ohh ya, just a shot of coffee!! patutlaa tak rasa 'umphh power'!!..hmm, quite disappointed laa kan..but the tiramisu was yumyummy :)

last thing i did, photocopy a few documents [must be stated, hahaha!]..then home sweet home ;)

the end of my outing day..tomorrow is no more "honeymoon" day..got work laaa kan!!